“Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight.” (Proverbs 4:1, ESV)

My dad has taught me…

patience.
what it looks like to be broken over your own sin.
true repentance.
what it looks like to have a heart of service.
how to love the poor and the needy.
how to love your wife as Christ loved the Church.
how to live in the present, giving whoever you are with your full attention.
what it looks like to have your identity in Christ, not in your vocation.
how to live with integrity.
what endurance and perseverance looks like.
what it is like to experience the approval of your father.

My Dad is clearly one of the most influential people in my life, and thankfully so. It has been a frequent source of thanksgiving for me, as I ruminate on how wonderful it is to have a dad like him. He is a father in whom it is natural to confide in and seek advice from. He is the person who I enjoy hanging out with more than anyone else (aside from Chelsi). But probably the most significant thing to me (especially as of late), is my Dad’s ability to give affirmation and express approval… of me. There are times in the midst of growing up, especially in the midst of extreme transition… times when it is easy to grow self-conscious and when I am given to wonder; am I doing this right? Am I going to be o.k.?

Every son so desires his father’s approval… and it is a sad truth that for many, no matter what they do, they will never sense their father’s approval and acceptance. This is not a simple scenario to parse. It is true that there are situations in which it is not appropriate to give approval of a person, when their life has fallen into such unrepentant disrepute. The nature of Church discipline paints this quite clearly. However, I believe that for many sons that do not experience fatherly approval, but long to, it would be appropriate for a father to express approval and affirmation… despite the shortcomings in his son’s life.

God gives us his unreserved acceptance, based not on our merits, but based on the perfection of his Son and the sufficiency of his sacrifice on our behalf. Christ’s righteousness is so amazingly imputed to us, that God has taken pleasure in us. He delights in us! It is hard for many to wrap their minds and hearts around this truth, not knowing the approval of an earthly father, however, my Dad has made it easier for me to understand God’s acceptance of me. Not because he thinks of sin as a small deal, but rather because he has experienced the immeasurable grace of God towards his own sin.

No father can give the type of affirmation that a son needs outside of a vital relationship with God… because no son is worthy of the affirmation that is truly necessary. We are sinners. There are always things that a dad sees, which need tweaking in his son’s life. How can a father give affirmation, acceptance and approval to a son that needs considerable change?

This ministry of approval towards a son can only be accomplished by a dad who is in touch with his own brokenness through a personal experience at the foot of the cross of Christ. He must experience Calvary first hand. A dad who knows that he is deeply accepted by God, apart from his merit, can grow in this same heart towards his son.

There are certainly many times, in every fatherly relationship, when it is right for a father to be disapproving of what a son does, giving appropriate warnings and consequences. In fact, in certain cases it would be wrong to do otherwise. However, it is also true that on a macro scale, a father should receive his son because he is his son.

God, thank you for rescuing my Dad, and in so doing, giving me a deeper understanding of who you are. Dad, thank you for knowing God, so that I too can know the approval of my father. I love you. Oh, that I might shower a fraction of the love upon my daughters that you have showered upon me!